Helpless friend

My friends,

there are some situations that you faced that I am not able to give you advices,
that is because I never experienced these situations..
Sometimes, I couldn't even understand how you really feel inside..

Trying my best, I imagine myself facing the exact problems you're suffering from,
but, an imagination will never be exact or accurate..
Those advices I gave, are only something I think I would do if I were you..

I feel so helpless when you come to me,
I hear you crying on the phone, you can't speak clearly,
and I have no idea what you wanted to tell me..
All I can do is guess what you wanted me to know,
knowing how painful it is for you, it hurts me too..

How I wish there's something I can do for you to make you feel better,
help you solve the problems, but I can't, I don't know what can I do..

I can only lend you my ears and my shoulders..
distract you from those disturbing thoughts, tell you everything will be okay...

for the dearest one,
I'll always remind you, I'm always here, always beside you when you need me..
just give me a call, I'll answer your call anytime, anywhere and listen to you..
Even if you don't feel like talking, I can just be there to keep you company..

Never ever forget that I love you, very much..
as my best friend, my sister, my family.. and yes, as my wifey... <3

Source of motivation

Once in a while , I'll lose motivation and forgot my main aim in life..
Even today, after the briefing on the MBBS course outline and the modules that will be conducted,
I start thinking..
Am I really suitable to take on this course?
Do I really wanna do this, or is it because that I wanna make my mom proud?

Then, I got an answer from myself..
I WANT TO MAKE MY MOM PROUD
proud to have me as her daughter..
no one can ever look down on her..
to those who did.. I will prove to you that you were wrong
'She's not educated'.. SO WHAT?! She educated me well
'She smokes and gambles'..SO WHAT?! She's still a great mother

Everything she did to raise me up, I will never ever forget..
I promised myself, I will give her all the best things I will have in the future..

This is the only option I leave for myself, no other routes, no other way..
When there is only one way to go, the only thing I can do is move forward..
No walking backwards, I will not give myself a second choice..

My mother will always be my source of motivation..

Mommy, I Love You to the MAX <3 <3 <3

期望

我以为我被录取了..

今天到大学去，原本是要问有关学费的事..

她们却说，其实我还在候选人名单里，还没被正式录取..

我的心慌了，之前不是说我被录取了吗？当时真的很开心，过几天后还告诉妈咪了..

现在，让她空欢喜一场了吧..好失望，很不甘心..

我是真的要当医生的，而且我不要浪费时间！我要两个星期后就开学，我不要等...

说什么我的名字被放在候选人名单里前几个，被录取的几率会比较高..

现在整个人很空，好像没了方向..我的未来到底在哪里？不是当医生，那我该做什么？

虽然可以等到八月，到别的大学试试，但是如果连他们也不收我呢？

从没想过如果没被录取我会有怎样的心情，现在知道了..

很失望，很伤心，心很痛..

有朋友说我想事情想得很悲观，其实我只是想让自己有个心理准备，

才把事情都做了最坏的打算..那么如果真的发生了不好的事情，我也不会太失望，伤心..

有期望就有可能有失望，真的..

要等多两个星期，希望带来的是好消息吧..

Random thoughts

hello bloggie~
didn't post anything for quite some time ady..

hmm..
what to talk about today..
oh oh, my knee :)

well, wounds are healing well i guess..
just that one stitch..Ouch.. it hurts... like a lot when it's covered by that brace..
I wanna recover fast... very fast..
I wanna go out and have fun..
I wanna drive again..
I wanna go to school.. if they take me in of course...
hopefully they'll still like me, though i think i screwed up the interview... ><

felt so empty.. since...i don't even remember when this started..
not to say i don't have a life.. well, just not filling enough i guess..

People change.. a lot..
Including me, myself...
why didn't i change to a better person?
that person i always wanted to be..
generous, kind, optimist, sporty, diligent, caring... so much more good attitudes..
I want to be a good friend, a good daughter, a good sister, a good individual...

But who knows when can i reach that?
myself of course..
but going on with this current motivation, it'll definitely need a few centuries..

what a tiring day.. both physically and mentally...
time to shut the mind down, let's hope i'll have a positive mood tomorrow :)
nitey nites~ ^^