Dominos

I feel like stabbing myself right now..

Never, ever delay ordering food for someone..
Just freaking order and pay for it!

Remember this forever Gabby

#tlwa

#tlwa

This person meant so much to you
Your tears stream down your cheeks most of the time when you talk about T
And it hurts me so much to see you in pain yet there's nothing i can do to take the pain away
You said you look for features of T in everyone you met
And you see T in me too, that i remind you of T

I guess its both good and bad for you and me
I promised, I'll be here for you through these times
As a listener, a friend or whatever you need me to be

And though it is easier said than done, you gotta keep trying to forgive yourself
Everyone makes mistakes, regardless of age or anything else
You deserve to be forgiven
Don't beat yourself up

I'm staying as long as I can and
Trying to do the best I can for you
As long as you want me to

I hope it gets better for you
Bit by bit.

I pray and hope and wish you to be happy again, that's all.

Case write up

Since i need to submit a case write up every month
and most of the time i'll be so stressed up writing this
I decided it is only fair for the write-ups to have a post about them
and also some advises and words to motivate myself for future write-ups

First, always clerk more patient, although you don't like some of the postings.
Remember that you always always always learn more by clerking, this is your style of learning

Second, start your case one week earlier so you have a safety margin to procrastinate
so when you start feeling guilty and regretful you still have 2-3 days to complete the work

Third, don't always aim for perfection, aim for progression.
You know it yourself, when you aim for perfection, you don't make progression at all
And also don't be scared of mistakes, people learn from mistakes, you are human after all

Remember, when you start your work, no matter how little you manage to put in everyday,
you are always making progression, don't beat yourself up, but don't give yourself too many excuses

That's all from your 21th Feb 2016 self to future self for now
You can do this, you already submitted about 10 write-ups in the past year, you can do this :)

Myself

I like to be honest and open to people who i love and cherish - friends and families

But sometimes i feel like i don't know myself enough,

and so i couldn't share these with them.

I feel i need to travel, i NEED to because i want to learn.

I want to learn things about life about people and about places.

Med school is too hectic, and i have no ways to know new people and to explore new stuffs.

I recently found out that i have questions for myself that i couldn't answer

I've been quite distracted by the thought of not knowing the answer

I hope i can know myself better soon and the answer wouldn't take too long to appear.

I need new people in my life, i need more experience.

I need to learn more other than medicine, i need to learn life

I need to learn to explore who I am and what i desire

Bad times this holiday

this is by far the worst holiday i had,
other than the times spent with my cousins..
physically i have been having diarrhea for 4 days and that really affect my appetite
and i did not get any good food that can lift my mood, so im extra grumpy..
mentally, some family stuff and friendship stuff is really messing up my mood too..

and worst of all, i have no one to go to, i'm all by myself now..
some say during the holidays people heal, recover and run away from all the stresses
but this holiday, i didn't recover, instead i have more to recover from when this week ends

oh, and speaking of bad luck, i actually wrote so much more for this post but my old iphone pal died at the perfect timing and poof all of those are gone so yeah, a summary will do

Bad situation

Today is possibly one of the worst day if my life..

I am so angry at myself.. For injuring myself.. Again..

This time, I'm not in my holidays.. Which means this will affect my classes.. 

And I made my mom worry.. Again..

I'm so sorry mommy, for injuring myself and causing you so much trouble and making you so worry.. 

There's nothing I can do now, but I need to keep calm, and do my best to recover.. 

This is not my first.. But the situation I'm in right now is way different than 6years ago.. This time, there are more things to be worry about, the consequences that I'll need to face.. Depresses me and at the same time makes me feel so frustrated... I'm sorry mommy..

where's the love

one phone call from you, crashed her mood, and mine too

how difficult it is for you both to call every weekend?

how difficult it is for you both to bring her out for dinner once in a while?

how difficult it is to love her more?

i'm never strong, never independant, but i know i need to..

cause i know depending on anyone else is like walking on a thin thread

next second we'll be dead from the deadly fall